If Luke thought things would get quiet in our house after Tim passed away, I hope he listened to my words of warning! It has still been quite a whirlwind of activity and people over the past few days. I don’t think we have had less than 5 people to the house each day – some days quite a few more than 5!
This morning, Tim’s mom and I went to the funeral home to see Tim before the funeral. It was so hard to see him lying there as if asleep. I thought for sure he would jump up and this whole nightmare would all go away. The sad reality is that he isn’t just asleep.
My heart cries for Tim’s mom, who is now not only dealing with Tim’s death, but is in some ways reliving her daughter’s death as well. Eight years ago, Carlone was killed instantly in a car accident. Going to see Tim today was also reliving going to see Carlone’s body after her accident. Her heart is so immensely full of sorrow. For a parent to lose a child is a tragedy – but to lose two children is enough to break a mother to bits. She may not have realized it yet, but she has developed an inner strength that few people have.
Now that we have a couple of down days before the funeral, I can see that the ideal amount of time between a death and a funeral is about 5 days. With an entire week, I have had plenty of time to get all the details taken care of, but now we have a couple days in which we really don’t have much going on. It is going to be a long weekend – the boys just want to watch Netflix or play iPods – great ways to escape, but not very good for their attitudes!
Please continue to pray for us – especially for each of the boys. Luke is going to really struggle with the emotional upheaval. His Asperger’s makes dealing with strong emotion particularly tough for him – especially when it is an emotion that leaves him feeling very helpless. Micah continues to be a bomb with his emotions – he’ll be fine one minute and the next he is exploding all over whoever is closest to him. Simon has successfully avoided dealing with any of this. Monday will be particularly hard, as there will be no way to escape it then.
We continue to appreciate all of the help that is offered. I wish there were a way for me to have each offer turn into something to be done. We love each and every one of you that is praying for us and helping us in so many different ways.