Big prayer request

Please pray for my family. My younger two boys are really struggling. I am at my end of what to do with them. They have both become as hard as rock when it comes to listening to me and working on maturing into civilized humans. They are getting into hard trouble over and over and have no concern for what they are doing at all.

Here’s an example (a very mild example, by the way):

We just finished playing a board game in which Micah was struggling to show good sportsmanship – even though he ended in second place out of four. After the game, it’s time for all three to go through the shower and get jammies on. It’s Micah’s turn and he realized he needs a towel so heads to my room to get one. He gets completely distracted by Simon. The two of them goof off all through three of my warnings. I declare desserts off limits to the both of them. Finally, Simon gets out of there and Micah goes into their bathroom, and I realize he doesn’t have his towel. As I’m helping him to find one, I get after him again about goofing off instead of doing what he should have been.

 Here’s the dialog that comes next:

M: You won’t get it through.

Mom: What?

M: You won’t get it through. (meaning the lesson)

Mom: Why not?

M: I won’t let it.

This is really the heart attitude that Micah and Simon especially have been showing lately. They are becoming hard-hearted. Please pray that the Holy Spirit will soften their hearts. I would really much rather be dealing with crying and mopiness than anger and callousness. Pray that my heart attitude would be effective in dealing with them each and every time something comes up. I desparately need to regain their respect and I don’t know how to re-establish that.

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5 thoughts on “Big prayer request

  1. Barb, you are definitely in my prayers as are the boys. I will be praying that the boys learn to respect you and honor you as instructed in the Bible. I pray that their hearts learn compassion and empathy rather than hatred, disrespect, and scourn. I pray that they will realize that life is changing for your family and it will be a much easier journey if they help rather than hinder. Remind them that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar and prove it to them by making it into a science experiment for them – relate how that experiment relates to people as well. The golden rule holds true, if you treat others with the respect you would like, you will get that respect back but if you treat them poorly, then you will most likely be treated poorly. I know these are all things that you’ve probably already tried or thought about but don’t give up….God will help you out!

    You started out with the dessert as punishment, if their attitude does not improve then the punishments should grow with the disrespect. Withhold play time, withhold all electronics time, make the chores more difficult. They will eventually learn that the worse they act, the worse the punishment will be. This is true out in the “real world” in the court system and can be the same on a smaller scale at home.

    Hang in there sister and know that I am lifting you up to God tonight and always!

    *big hugs*

  2. Hey Barb, I will pray for the boys. I will especially pray that it is a part of the journey and not the destination,( which was my first impression upon reading your post)…. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be on your heart…..

  3. http://biblicalparentinguniversity.com/

    Barb, you and your family are definitely in our prayers. Sometimes with laughter at the way you share things, but often with tears at the journey you are all in the midst of experiencing. It brings back many memories of when Bob was paralyzed with a virus in his spinal chord after just moving to Lake Beauty and we didn’t know what the outcome would be. I really missed not being able to visit with you at camp but know that you were blessed by others whom God brought into your path. Above I posted a website that I have found encouraging. It tries to emphasize training our children to honor their parents and siblings in a godly fashion. Maybe they will have something that will be of interest to you. I have signed up for the emails for weekly challenges and insight. Be strong in the Lord and rest in His peace. Angel

  4. Praying! Single parenting is hard and my circumstances were much different but it taught me how to rely on God for strength. I know that you will doubt yourself but you are so strong! I can see your strength in every step forward you are making in your life!

  5. I wish I had a magic wand to wave over you and make everything alright. Alas, all I have is empathy. Having survived the raising of three children (plus 2 add-ons) to adulthood, all I can offer is this: It was the hardest thing I have ever done. A lot of times it just. plain. sucked. I have come through to the other side (after drivers-ed 😉 and my kids are the best kids a Mom or Dad could ask for – I am so proud of them. All the struggles and fears of raising them “properly” are fading and I’m just left with a heart full of love for them. You will get to the other side, I promise. Your kids and your parenting struggles are normal and they will be resolved. in fact your family is in way better shape than many. Your guidance, faith, teachers, neighbors and friends will all be there to help – and you know your kids soak up everything around them even if you don’t think they are paying attention. Your kids are testing you of course but, you are the greatest Mom and you will prevail. You keep hanging in there and I will keep praying!

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