There is a relatively little known Dr. Seuss book called My Many Colored Days. I love this book. It helps kids to identify emotions based on colors. Yellow is happy, orange is silly, green is cool and still, black is angry. My life right now is gray.
“Gray day, everything is gray. I watch but nothing moves today.”
Oh, how I wish for color again. The spark of rainbow in our lives is more “life-giving” than we often realize. To live in gray for so long is so very hard. I feel like I am in a cocoon of sorts. I have been wrapped up and tucked away. I am not participating in life like everyone else. Things are constantly changing, and yet it all feels so gray, so distant, so surreal.
A friend who lost her husband in a car accident a couple years ago has a son that is on Micah’s baseball team, so we see each other a couple times a week during baseball season. Last week, she came to the ball game in sandals and I couldn’t help but notice her electric blue toenails. When I mentioned something about them, we started talking about how I am living in gray right now. She admitted to knowing exactly how that feels. One way she decided to put color back in her life was by painting her toenails bright colors.
I think it really is a human need to live in vibrant color. When we are struck with a season of life where it’s gray, we look for ways to bring living color back to our days. For me, it’s working with bright colors of fabrics. I am currently working with a quilt that has green, yellow, orange, turquoise, and red in it – all very bright. Not only is it full of bright colors, it is also whimsical designs – monkeys, bananas, fish, letters.
I admit there have been many days over the past few months when I have walked into my sewing room, sat on my chair and done nothing but look at my fabrics for 15 minutes and walked back out, having accomplished nothing. But I’m drawn to that room because I know that those bright colors are there and it gives me something outside of my situation to look at and feel life from. My fabrics remind me that there are parts of my life that aren’t and won’t change on me.
Just like a caterpillar in a cocoon, it feels like my life has stopped. Everything really is gray right now. But I am certain that, just like a caterpillar, when this season is past, when this journey comes to a close, I will someday find color again. God will have made me new, stronger, more beautiful because of the time I spent focusing on Him while life was gray. And then, just like in Dr. Seuss’s book, I will have Many Colored Days again. I will spread my wings and fly.