As I was laying in bed this morning, planning out one of the busiest Sundays I’ve had in a while, I realized something. I spent most of my week barely talking to my Best Friend. See, our church, Rockpoint Church, is gearing up for a capital campaign to reduce our debt. (That’s a whole ‘nother long story that I’d be glad to share if you ask me.) Anyway, for about 16 weeks leading up to the big campaign dinner, we as a church body are being challenged to spend time in prayer meditating on various names of God. I decided personally that I would commit to this prayer task. Each day, I am challenged to spend time praising God for that name’s attribute, confessing my sin, thanking God for how he is working in our church, and interceding not only for personal requests, but also for the needs of this particular capital campaign.
Last week’s name was El. It saddened my heart to realize that I had only prayed about this name of God once all week long. I also realized that I have spent just minutes at best reading through Matthew in search of God’s Crazy Love (see earlier blog postings). It’s not that I hadn’t prayed all week, I did. But it certainly wasn’t like the week before, when I had spent specific time praying and specific time reading Scripture. It really shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that I have felt the gas tank going empty by the end of the week.
I think of what my life is like right now. And I am realizing very quickly that friends are a critical part of the support that I need. The relationship I have with Tim is crucial. Even how things are going with each of my kids makes a big difference. However, hands down, the relationship I have with Jesus Christ and my Father in heaven outstrips all others in importance. If I only toss up those “HELP ME!” prayers when I am in a power battle with one of my kids, or a “POOR ME!” prayer when I am having a hard time getting Tim off the floor, my relationship isn’t what it should be. I need to be filling my spiritual tank with more than just “get-me-through-this” kinds of prayers. I need to also be filling my spirit with truths from the Scriptures that have nothing to do with my situation and everything to do with who Christ is and who I am in Christ.
A week without that leaves me so deflated that I am not able to reach out and support Tim or the boys in the way that I can if I have spent the week nurturing my own spirit. I love them more than anything and I need to keep myself healthy in order to help them. I don’t want this to sound like a “should’s” list – although it somewhat is. And, sometimes, I think it is OK to tell ourselves we should do something. Especially in this case. For a week without specific time spent communicating with God leaves me as dry as my houseplants. Withering, shriveled-up, on their way to dying. But give them a drink of refreshing water, and you can almost watch them pop back up to life, greening up, and searching for more light to continue living.
So, now it’s Sunday night. My busy day is done – taught three hours of Sunday school this morning, moved all the junk out and the furniture into the center of my sons’ bedroom, taped and primed that room, went border shopping, did basic house cleanup after having been in the boys’ bedroom all day. And now, even though I am exhausted, I am going to grab my Bible, find my journal and my prayer guide and wind down by listening to my Best Friend and telling Him about how my week went without Him. And I’m going to plan with Him how this week can go better – because I am intentionally planning to spend part of every single day with Him this week!