I started this blog with the intent of recording things in the life of my family that would be interesting for others to read – whether it was about something with one of my quilts, or in the life of my kids that the grandparents would want to read, maybe something funny, or something thought-provoking. Right now, I feel like my life is so full of burdens. I don’t want to keep recording negative things over and over until it seems like this blog itself is dragging me down.
And yet, that is where my life is right now. My reality isn’t very nice to me right now. I have two kids that I am schooling at home that are being particularly uncooperative. I have one in a B&M school that is barely putting effort forth on his schoolwork. I have a husband who can barely walk because of something that we can’t identify nor fix. And I certainly don’t have time to be in my sewing room right now.
I’m grasping at straws for how to pull my life back together again. I had a wonderful mini-vacation that rested me and gave me a new perspective for what I want for my family. I am sick and tired of all the tantrums, whining, demanding and everything else going on wrong in our house. I want a family that loves to be together, loves to laugh things off and move on with what needs to be done. How do I teach that when I am in a constant battle to even keep them in the house? Aaarrgghh.
I know that somehow I have to keep it together better. They have definitely learned what buttons to push to get Mom into a bluthering mess. Then everything stops while Mom delivers her lecture. It’s easier to tune that out for a while than to work on school. I have to re-wire myself in order to make those buttons non-functional now. I’m going to work on that idea for a while.
While life may be a bit crazy and full of unknowns right now, I know that God’s peace is in my life. I know that He will give me what I need to get through this time. He will give me the strength I need when I feel the weakest. So, reality may not be nice, but God is good and He will help me negotiate this tough days.